Just Another Fuck-up (2007)

OK, so I’m sitting there,
And suddenly there’s this pain in my eye,
And I think: What the fuck is that?
And I don’t know. So,
I say to myself, ‘It’s a pain in my eye.’
Why?
And then I remember what that lady said,
What she’d read about the beams.
It seems they’re coming from space.
From the satellite.
Right?
And I try to remember,
And it’s something about watching us. Monitoring us,
Making sure we don’t do it:
Don’t do whatever it is that they don’t want us to do.
And I think, ‘What have I done to this deserve this?
I’ve done nothing.’
But my dad’s always moaning.
Moaning about what I do:
Leaving the lights on and stuff,
Not closing the ‘fridge door properly.
The mess I made, with the razor blade.
Anybody would think it was a crime.
A proper crime.
He said he hasn’t got time
To keep an eye on me.
But then, you see,
The pain in my eye became a pain in my head
And the pain said,’What we need to do,
To make sure you don’t do it again,
Is to make a tiny hole, into your brain,
Just so we can see what’s going on inside your head.
So, instead of moaning
All we have to do is stop it before it happens.’
So my dad said, ‘That sounds like a solution.’
A revolution in caring.”
And I sat staring and kept my mouth shut.
So they made this hole in my head
And now, so they can make sure I don’t do it again,
They send the beam from the satellite,
But sometimes it misses the hole in my head
And I get this pain in my eye,
And every time it makes me surprised,
And then I remember:
It’s the beam from space. From the satellite,
Making sure I don’t do it.
Again.
I hate my dad.

© Jean Levy/ 2007